I Wanna Be a Minion

Nine days before my first book talk. It’s exciting; I think I’m ready except for perhaps not having enough books on hand to sell (thinking positive); I might have enough to say if I don’t talk too fast; and yet I still want to be a Minion. Specifically, a Pixar Minion and I have sound reasons for this.
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The first reason, is I have to admit, vanity. All Pixar Minions are shaped like Twinkies. No worries about shapewear that tortuously remolds all of your Twinkie parts into something resembling the Ideal Womanly Shape. No matter if Minions are tall and thin, short and round or in-between, they all look like a Twinkie and they all pretty much wear the same type of jumper and boots. So, no problem with fashion, either, even if occasionally they slip into something non-jumperish. At a booktalk, a golden Twinkie in a jumper would really bring in the crowd.

While Minions are rather impulsive and not given to fretting over details or consequences, I find this refreshing as I sometimes overthink things and take too long to come to a decision or freak myself out. Minions are decisive and even if their decisions are disastrous, they manage to both survive and to giggle about it. What a huge gift! So, even if no one shows up for the booktalk, it would be something to laugh about.

I’ve read that all Minions are male, even if they occasionally wear a dress. I prefer to think of them as gender neutral which sounds spiffy to me, since Minions appear to be free of societal gender expectations. To be a Minion--not a girl Minion or a boy Minion--just a Minion, sounds rather liberating. booktalk, a golden Twinkie in a jumper would really bring in the crowd.

Another reason to become a Minion is that Minions are capable of doing so many different things—at the same time. It doesn’t always turn out well, but isn’t that true about everything?
I like the Minion language which borrows from French, Spanish, English, Japanese, Korean and Italian, as well as a bunch of made-up words. Minionese sounds fun and that leads me to another reason for wanting to be Minion—they are a lot of fun.

Whether they are accidentally dropping chandeliers on villains or giggling at butt jokes, Minions seem to be having fun with whatever they do. They also do the kinds of things you wish you could do, but you are too grownup and responsible to do them.  Watching their antics gives one a vicarious thrill at being bad, but not actually evil. Minions are always loyal and well-intentioned. And fun.

Bananas are not my favorite fruit and while I like yellow, it’s not my favorite color. Still, to be a Minion, I’d be willing to swill carloads of bananas and look like a golden yellow Twinkie. And do booktalks all day.
 
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